LESSON 4: TRUTH TELL

Telling the truth is mostly (always) to yourself. It may manifest as untruths, or lies, or half-truths or omissions to those around us - but mostly the lack of truth is just a form of denial. And denial is one of the early stages of grief interestingly enough. And it’s also a very effective strategy of the ego (more on this later). All you need to know now is how to recognise the truth and also the ways you choose not to see or to disguise it as something else.

Other words like truth: authenticity, certainty, genuineness, gospel, perfection

Which word/s resonates the most with you? 

When you get present, drop in and reflect with self-compassion, truth telling becomes much easier. It’s just that we’ve (often) been avoiding it for so long, the act of speaking it out loud (or writing it, or saying it quietly to ourselves) can be terrifying. You truth may be something simple like “I’m not coping”, or “I want a deeper connection with you”, or “Our marriage is over” or “We can not continue to speak to each other this way” or “I want to quit my job” or “I don’t want to stay home with the kids anymore” or “My health is suffering” or “I’m scared if you don’t stop drinking you’ll die, and I don’t know what to do about that fear”. Truth is never harsh, but it is real. 

Ways we think we ‘truth tell’ but really we’re scared:

• When we say things like “You’re being an asshole” or “You started this”
• When we try to be “right” and defend and/or justify our position or action
• When we call something (like our feelings or actions) something else less ‘bad’ - I’m so annoyed vs I’m enraged, or “when things went funky in our marriage” vs “when I had/when he had the affair”. 
• When our intent isn’t pure - this is hard to uncover, but you know because afterwards you feel it. It feels a bit ick, even though you thought it was ‘necessary’ at the time.

The fourth, pivotal, step is to TELL The TRUTH

Mostly I avoided the truth with pure, outright denial. I chose (which is quite an active thing to do) NOT TO SEE what was in front of me. Sometimes we avoid because we don’t think we’re worthy, sometimes because we’re ashamed of where we may have ended up, sometimes it’s because we want to keep the peace and sometimes it just feels easier than the (very likely) hard conversation that needs to be had. And when we don’t have the tools to have the hard conversations they are hard - really, really hard. Part of this process is to equip you with tools. And then your job? To use those tools powerfully to create the life experience you want.

I was raised in a religion where they called their teachings “The Truth”. I never, not for a second, thought to question the validity of the teachings until I was much older. I did not know how to feel into things and form my own opinion. I did not know how to question the beliefs of others before I formed my own. And once I believed things, I didn’t ever think to question if it was true for me. When I discovered I had all the power to believe what was true for me and that my freedom lay in my ability to face and accept what was in front of me, then I was able to take control back over the life I was creating. 

JOURNAL: What truth about myself/this situation have I not been willing to see/say/act upon?

1. The truth is……. (complete this sentence as many times as you need)
2. What is your ‘go to” to not face the truth - do you just lie, disguise it, deny it, omit things, tell half truths?? What has this cost you in the past?
3. What is something that until now you have 100% believed to be true (about yourself/someone else/a situation) that you could now question?
4. What truth does your soul want you know about YOU?



Years ago I decided to stop hiding and tell myself the truth about the relationship situation I kept finding myself in. This was the start of transforming this part of my life into something completely new. You can read some of that here.