The Gap Year Intensive
12 weeks to heal past relationship hurt and create space for the love you want
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The Gap Year Intensive is about taking a Gap Year (not necessarily a literal year, but definitely a metaphysical one) from men (or alternatively other external things you get addicted to, at the expense of doing your own work on yourself) so you can do whatever you need to do to clean up the inside stuff, let go of the past stuff and then get on with clarifying and manifesting the relationship you want.
It’s mostly about becoming the one so you can find the love you want. As a single woman, or as a woman in a relationship where it feels like something is missing.
Gap Year is the best way ever to plug the holes.
See people with holes attract people with holes. I only ever met the men in the serious relationships in my life until now when I was lost and holey. And somehow in that I hoped they would help me find me. And then I’d feel whole. But then we both got lost, filled our holes with things that only worked momentarily, and then drained away.
So Gap Year Intensive is about making time to fill the holes, by taking a break from temporary fixes, to make space for the real thing.
It's Intensive because it's 12 months of work compressed into 12 weeks, so you can get where you need to be sooner. It's raw. It's real. And I feel like it's just what you need.
And so, Gap Year Intensive is over. It's hard to describe in words what happened in those few months. I can tell you I quit smoking, became healthy, liked myself, engaged in a higher level of peace and less stress. But that wasn't actually what I came for.
My heart had been destroyed, my sense of self worth obliterated, my partner had cheated and no matter where I turned I couldn't stop the hurt. The pain was so intense and the anger at myself unbearable. I thought doing Fleur's course could help me see why. I wanted to understand why. It was like a cloud I just couldn't push through. And I've pushed thru some pretty tough shit.
As frustratingly simple as it seems, it just came down to understanding self love. And having the space to experience that, without realising I was doing that. And before I knew it I was doing that. And then somehow I was different and it didn't hurt so much anymore.. And every day became full of light.And then I got to see who "she" is. She's pretty fkn cool actually. So Gap Year was like the Peter Alexander nightie I bought that was sparkly but just for around the house, but then realised I could rock that shit anywhere and it became a going out dress... Same same but different.
- Kirsten, Business Owner
Your Instructor
I'm a purpose coach.
Which is a life coach and business coach focussed on purpose. Or magic. Or whatever it is you want to call it. For the people who want more, but have just never been able to find the time or the focus to put their finger on what exactly that is, or how exactly they can do it. And I'm mumma of 4, and step-mum of 2 and a qualified marine biologist and a writer and....well you know, there are so many things that matter and so many things that don't.
But I believe people are magnificent. And I'll do whatever I can to bring you home.
I would suggest Gap Year to anyone who has struggled with being a people pleaser, an over giver, a helper or an overall big-hearted person who always seems to end up with the short end of the stick.
Before I did Gap Year I felt like I had so much personal power and so much strength and I am far from a push over yet was so open and giving and couldn't work out why I was always the one being the kind-hearted giver and everyone else seemed to end up with what they wanted but ME!
The Gap Year helped me gain clarity around why my relationships, my business, my family and general life wasn't working in my favour. I gapped it and I totally got it and have since been honouring me so much more!
- Suraya Yuruten, Founder, Alche-Me
If you commit to this journey you'll learn about love from the inside out:
- The empowerment of radical self-responsibility.
- The skill of crafting an intention centred in what you truly want
- Creating space (in your head, heart and life)
- Awareness of your ego and how it's been booby-trapping you
- The life-changing magic of boundaries and the incredible safety net they create
- How forgiveness and letting go sit in the foundation of personal power
- How your identity has been hidden in relationships, and also how what you hide about yourself eats you up
- Core values as a decision-making guide
- Clarify what you really, truly desire (and how it's possible to get it)
- Knowing your deal-breakers and how to stop getting what you don't want
- Finding you inner source of guidance, reconnecting to your true wisdom
- How commitment is the key to change
- Balancing giving and receiving from a place of preciousness
- The truth about vulnerability
- The power of your feminine
- A pathway forward
Frequently Asked Questions
Hey it's Fleur. I just wanted to share with you something I wrote at the end of my Gap Year. About what's possible for you, and why it's worth everything to sort this stuff out.
Miraculously it appears Gap Year has drawn to a spectacular close.
Not in that kind of way (the kind of way where it ended with me in a sweaty tryst with at least one man), but in the way that it’s done and I won.
To start with, one of the wisest women I know told me I should take a break from relationships to regroup. She suggested a year. In the midst of every-second-crawling-heartbreak a year seemed a REALLY long time, but I was pretty sure (on reflection) that I owed myself some time to regroup. So it seemed worth committing to. I did call it a sabbatical at first, but that sounded boring (like a 40 year old staying home on a Saturday night wearing watermelon pyjamas, drinking detox tea and writing), whereas GAP YEAR sounded…well like someone who’s 18 and travelling the world.
After I said I was committing to this thing I had a bet with an amazing (at times annoying) friend who (had very little faith in me) did not believe that I could not stay away from another relationship for a year and bet me $100 that I couldn’t last (he may have been the kind of friend who early in my relationship with the last guy tried gently to steer me in another direction and I thought he was being an asshole, so he does have some credibility. He’s also on the interview panel for any new love interests. Of course). I won the $100.
In hindsight I can not believe I only bet a $100, because I’m super competitive and knew I would win and so should have made it more. He was pretty determined to win also, and may have offered someone $50 to distract me, but alas for him – he had to pay up. And 8 days early none the less because he knew he was beaten. I may have danced through his 20th wedding anniversary party waving it around. I may have photographed it in my teeth.
But honestly, I didn’t do it for $100. I didn’t do it for the glory of winning. I didn’t do it to prove a point or to show anyone anything. I did it for me. And I did it for them. My four daughters. Because if there’s one thing I can teach them it’s to honour who they are in this life, and because I promise them that I will never again forget what is precious and to keep them safe. When you are lost you can not guide your children and in the end, what they have needed from me all along is a safe place to be home, filled with people who love them and want the best for them and who want them to be the fullness of who they are. And that’s pretty much what I need too.
Gap year wasn’t really about the man ban, or the no sex thing (and no it doesn’t break if you don’t use it!) or having an excuse not to join the mile high club with the animal psychic from Mullimbimby, it was about taking a relationship with another person out of the equation so that I had time and energy to focus on me. And them. And us. And home. And people who love me anyway and especially. And my gift to the world.
And in 357 days I learnt that gap year was the best way ever to plug the holes.
See people with holes attract people with holes. I only ever met the men in the serious relationships in my life until now when I was lost and holey. And somehow in that I hoped they would help me find me. And then I’d feel whole. But then we both got lost, filled our holes with things that only work momentarily, and then drain away. And then you’re standing before someone who says, “You don’t need a gap year to find yourself, you know what you want by now surely?” in a condescending tone and you realise that before that moment all you actually thought you wanted was him, when without him was the only possible way to figure that out. All 357 days of it.
And the irony becomes that the year of the gap filled the holes. And that was worth way more than 100 bucks.
So here it is. A Gap Year in 12 weeks. Full of gems and stories and ultimately life-changing action. Come join me x